PMOS in the workplace

Spoiler alert: no one cares.

chunk of anxiety here - they don’t and they won’t. So, if like me you’re clinging on to the corporate ladder, too afraid to jump but desperately hoping a gust of wind blows you off it, stand firm and rebel against the 24/7 Slack culture. Why? Because not only will your PMOS symptoms hit the glass ceiling (unfortunately still not denting it) you’ll also go insane, and glare at your colleagues so hard that you’ll literally set them on fire. For a company that hot desks, what do you really expect?

Rather than getting myself sacked for making this a personal burn book against those who have slighted me the most, I’ll stick to glaring and save this post for the PMOS predicament as expected.

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We need to talk about stress. PMOSTRESS.

I remember being asked by doctors, therapists, kinesiologists, osteopaths, physiotherapists, personal trainers, and even nutritionists if I was stressed (yes - that is a real list of how many people I have spent my hard earned pennies on over the years, to try and feel better). I always replied with a bit of a shrug in all honesty. Like, am I actually allowed to say I’m stressed if I have to write some bullshit strategy before Monday, or my partner’s left his shoes in the hallway, or my sister didn’t text me back, or because I forgot to shave my freakin armpits before the beach!? I genuinely didn’t really know what stress looked like, internally at least, and I certainly didn’t think I was allowed to say it affected me. Turns out, however, stress and PMOS are a match made in [corporate] hell.

Right, so stress does not directly cause PMOS, but it can significantly worsen its symptoms. Chronic stress increases cortisol levels, which can contribute to insulin resistance, weight gain, hormonal imbalances, and disrupted sleep – all factors commonly associated with PMOS. Elevated stress may also affect ovulation and menstrual regularity, creating a cycle in which PMOS symptoms increase stress, and stress further aggravates symptoms. A literal vicious cycle. Welp.

When I write here, I’m half writing for my own sanity, half writing to have a giggle with my pals and half desperately hoping another, stranger version of me 10 years ago stumbles across this and says actually yes, that sounds familiar to me and has the opportunity to observe, reassess and rearrange their own life to ensure stress isn’t at the forefront. Why? Because at the grand old average age of 35, I have finally gathered many, many pieces of evidence, advice, a few breakdowns, several sleepless nights, multiple arguments, a couple breakups, one thousand highs and one million lows. I’ve lined them all up and interrogated them, I’ve flirted with them, slapped them and cried on their shoulders. And the conclusion I’ve come to? Well. They all belong right here inside, but they sure as hell aren’t all in charge.

The stress factor within this stellar A-list lineup is possibly the most bitchy though. It’ll tighten your jaw so much you’ll get daily headaches, cause you a mystery lower back pain so bad you’re convinced you’ve slipped a disc, make you so tired you can’t sit through a full episode of Beef - despite it being incredibly chaotic and awake-making, wipe your smile clean off your face like a Flash speed mop and whack your irritability levels up to new heights (small blob of toothpaste on side of sink causes you to say cunt out loud, to no-one).

So this is my plea, when stress comes a knockin’ on your door, open it sure, but don’t invite it in for a tea (although it loves chamomile if you do get to that point, very calming). While managing stress alone is unlikely to resolve your PMOS and make everything all perfect, reducing chronic stress through better sleep, gentle exercise, whole nutrition, and [GONG ALERT] mental health support [END OF GONG ALERT] is arguably the kindest thing you can do on the wonky old path to improving your overall symptom management, and far more importantly, your quality of life. After all, what the hell is the point in taking home all that hard cash if you’re miserable making it and spending it?