A pain in the ass?
And other symptoms of PMOS (PCOS)
Is it? Or is it a weird rash on the hand? An inflammation of the stomach? An abnormally blue bruise? A twinge in the lower back? Weak nails? Bleeding gums? INSANITY? It recently occurred to me, after watching my 187th mosquito bite blow up on holiday, that for the last 20 years or so I’ve been quietly mapping all these random, seemingly unrelated niggles within my body.
I’ve semi-subconsciously been drawing up an ecosystem of annoyances, creating one of those Netflix crime documentary pin boards in my head, red thread pinned between my vagina and nostril, trying desperately to see if it’s all linked. Sometimes I’ll Google to see if there’s evidence of a relationship between [insert annoying symptom here] and PMOS. Surprise, surprise I’m often met with some random Norwegian university study from 2001, somwhat alluding to the fact but giving little solid evidence, because shock horror no one funds any women’s health studies. (And really who can blame them, we are only 50% of the population after all - seems totally pointless to bother finding out about us).
Our bodies tell us when something’s not quite right. A dry mouth when we’re dehydrated, acid reflux when we’re anxious or a headache when we’re stressed. I don’t know if it’s just a British thing, but we as a nation can be pretty dismissive of these things - ‘it’ll be fine’! ‘could be worse!’ - rippling through homes up and down the country as people keel over and their legs fall off.
I often wonder if having PMOS, or any other chronic condition, unlocks a new sort of awareness (paranoia?) of our body, radar screeching on and off every time we eat something, look in the mirror, change our tampon or discover another weird thing somewhere on our bodies.
What’s difficult about this is, as aforementioned, a) no one seems to give much of a crap b) healthcare professionals can really only go off what’s already written down and c) slowly you can lose your voice (not literally, although I’m sure that’s another one). How many times can you really explain to a burnt out doctor that yes I know it sounds weird but I’m sure the fact my nails snap and break like dry leaves is because of my PMOS. Like it’s hardly life threatening. And yet, for me, and I’m sure many others, this quiet unravelling of the symptoms scroll can be quite unnerving. I know about all the big boys - the hair growth, weight gain, mood swings. But no one’s talking about these micro aggravators, so I am. I demand an uprising. I want to hear from you: what weird sub symptom have you experienced, that you suspect might be from your PMOS? Let’s get down to it - leave yours as a comment below - Netflix docco incoming.