The World is Burning, and So Are Our Hormones

PMOS (PCOS) on holiday

hose who know me would probably agree that I’m a determined (read: stubborn) woman. So when I heard that most people starting a Substack, or probably any project, give up after a mere two months or so I thought nope not me! I’ll type and type and moan and spout drivel until my follower count has raised the roof (and then potentially gone straight back down to zero again because I went too far and posted a blow-by-blow account of a day in the life of my tampon or something).

Anyway, I write this in 34 degree heat of Southern France, and I’m doing it much later than planned too because believe it or not 34 degrees is a lot more agreeable than the 45 DEGREES it was a few days ago. So yes, right now I am a very determined woman and a very sweaty one too.

Now, while there are clearly some hugely important conversations to be had around the petrifying state of the world, its ever raising temperature and the fact I can quite literally see smoke in the distance from nearby wildfires as I type, I will save those for more serious avenues and stick to what this space is for - women who have PMOS, women who are also too warm, and perhaps women who are also on holiday, and all the fuckery that comes with that.

Holidays: they are what the grand majority of us live for, or they sure as hell are for me anyway. Branded an absolute holiday slag™ by my friends, I will gladly spend almost every penny I earn on a trip to just about anywhere that will have me. Why do we love them? Is it the element of escapism from ‘real life’ (whatever that really is)? A sudden anonymity in a foreign land? Is it the sense of adventure in exploring a new landscape? Or is it just good old fashioned laziness - lil Pina Colada and a lie down? Whatever your answer (probs the latter for most people I know and have holidayed with) the same things go for whoever you are and wherever you go - your routine, diet/general indulgence, sleep, exercise and brain stimulation all change.

For those of us living with an endocrine or metabolic condition however, there are added layers of complexity to this, and the shine can unfortunately wear off a little too fast on holiday. Why? Because it turns out bread, cheese, wine, dehydration, lying down for 6 hours a day and screen time up by 50% are not good for PMOS. And don’t get me started on Ryanair’s baggage fees and the gruelling decision of having to choose between your supplements or pants at 11.38pm the night before a 7am flight.

Of course, there are an entire plane load of people out there who might roll their eyes at this and say that of course I can still work out and eat healthily on holiday and not drink €3 rosé every single day for 10 days straight, and of course I can but I simply do not want to. Day-to-day non-holiday rosé life can be a real struggle with PMOS - arses being dragged to the gym far more often than they want to be, the ever-present overwhelm of food efficiency (I have recently branded this term - fuck calorie counting, we should be checking that our grub is actually going to do some werk), or spending one million pounds on therapy, yoga and frickin meditation apps to stop yourself hurtling into the oblivion, bingo wings first. It’s hard. And holidays shouldn’t be.

But the price we pay for a sudden disregard of our routines, and PMOS ones at that, is sadly a little more than the local exchange rate. My body doesn’t know we’re on holiday, it just knows it’s confused, a bit sore and probably very thirsty, given the rate at which my belly button is filling with sweat…

So while I’m certainly not here to start reeling off holiday do’s and don’ts, top tricks or whatever trend is buzzing around like an annoying French gnat, what I will say is: do what works for you. If breaking the routine is too much for you, that’s OK. If eating croissants for every meal sounds pretty good, then it is. If your idea of holidaying is a six week bootcamp, props to you queen.

And if you’re jet-setting with friends, lovers, family or total strangers, remember that our PMOS bodies and brains are wired completely differently to those you’re with. Our knife edge hormones still have very fragile egos at the best of times (aka holidays) and they get pissed off easily yes, but they also react really fucking well to relaxing.

You’ll know what’s too much, what’s not enough or when it’s justttt right, Goldilocks style. It’s your body, it’s your holiday, and it’s your Pina Colada my lovely little holiday slag™.